Thursday, 22 March 2012

Midgets vs Mascots

Ok, so let me start by saying 'No', I haven't made this up, this really is a film I watched and am about to review! Midgets vs Mascots is best described as Jackass with a storyline. Follow the madcap antics of 5 mascots and 5 midgets little people as they battle it out to win $5,000,000. The team of mascots and the team of midgets little people compete through a number of staged 'documentary' moments with hilarious, embarrassing and downright gross outcomes.

Starring Gary Coleman in his last role (admittedly playing himself) this film plays out as a documentary, although the cast are all actors and the scenarios are scripted. What is not scripted, however, are the reactions of the poor people caught up in these moments. We see a milk chugging competition that results in large amounts of vomit and fecal matter (from the lactose intolerant little person), a man dressed as an alligator wrestling a real alligator and possibly the most cringe-making scene in a restaurant full of unsuspecting customers as our Mascots and Midgets discuss offensive words ... and trust me, you WILL cringe when you watch it!

Having picked this film up for £1 on a whim, I really didn't expect much from it, but actually rather enjoyed it. It's crazy, vulgar, wacky and entertaining ... it's not the sort of film that will exercise our brain but if that's the sort of film you're after ... what the hell are you doing here?!

Monster Brawl

Monsters. Wrestling. Kids in the Hall's Dave Foley. Sounds awesome right? Of course it does. Couple that with the pretty amazing trailer above and you have all the ingredients of a potential winner. Sadly, this is as far as I can go with this praise, as the build up does not match the finished product.

Monster Brawl is the crazy premise of a bunch of the most famous movie monsters (Frankenstein's Monster, Werewolf, The Mummy, Lady Vampire, Cyclops ... er ... Swamp Gut (?)) fighting it out WWE style to see who can come out as top monster. Unfortunately what you end up with is a feature length wrestling match with the wrestlers all dressed up (admittedly, at least the cosumes are pretty good) but unless you happen to be a die-hard WWE fan and horror fan combined, you'll probably find, as I did, that you get rather bored, rather quickly as we move from one wrestling match to the next, waiting and hoping for the final 'Mortal Combat' style finish move to symbolise that the fight is over.

Even the addition of the usually fantastic Dave Foley can't help this mess. He sits in front of a camera, looking dazed and confused at the nonsense going on around him, clearly reading from an auto-cue as his character takes regular swigs from a hip-flask ... and I can't help but wonder if he substituted whatever they gave him for real booze to help him make it through!

Ok, so this one isn't a masterpiece and, personally, the potential loses out to the nonsense/boredom very quickly, but no doubt some of you will watch and enjoy it and wonder just what the hell I was going on about!

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Meant to post this before, but forgot, but hey, better late than never.

So, I decided to sign up for the Reddit Secret Santa 2011 and my gift buyer found their way to my site, read my reviews and sent me this awesome Hobo with a Shotgun canvas print - how awesome is that?!

Just thought I'd share it with you all - too cool not to really!

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Red, White and Blue

Red, White and Blue begins by following nymphomaniac Emily as she drifts from one sexual encounter to the next - no emotion, no love, no repeat performances with the same guy. Along the way, she has a foursome with singer Franki and his bandmates. What happens from here is a whirlwind of trashy revenge and brutal torture. Unfortunately this is one of those films that will be totally spoiled if any detail about the plot is given away, suffice to say that the one night stand Emily has with Franki will send them all, and everyone around them, spiraling out of control.

This is one of those odd films that has a very slow, plodding beginning, with little dialogue but as the second half kicks in, you should prepare yourself for some shocks which abound through its sheer uncompromising nature. Without giving anything away, the sequence with the young girl and her family will shock and leave you feeling shaken.

A fantastic roller-coaster of shocks, revenge and terror that will leave you understanding why contraception is a good thing and one night stands should be avoided wherever possible!

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Bastard out of Carolina

                                                                     Booc Trailer

This truly-difficult-to-watch movie, directed by Angelica Huston, is finely made and will linger long in the memory. Bastard out of Carolina tells the story of 10 year old Bone (Jena Malone) who is systematically abused at the hand of her step-father - and let me say that some of the scenes are harrowing to watch and must have been even worse to film.

It's quite rare, and I guess you could say refreshing, to find a film that deals with this subject matter in such a frank and honest way, although it has been battered by the press for its realistic portrayal. You cannot help but hate Bone's mother for her lack of care and want to reach into the TV screen and strangle Daddy Glen for his shocking treatment of this innocent little girl.

Booc is not an easy watch, but I think it is an essential watch nonetheless. I'm pretty sure this film has never received a UK certificate due to its graphic portrayal of the subject matter, but it really should be released and watched, to serve as a warning and a frank eye opener. Available in the US, so get online and grab a copy - just be warned, you will get angry and you will be left thinking about this film for days to come.

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!

Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! Trailer

So it now looks like I'm on some sort of rabbit themed movie trip, I'm not, honest, it just happens that the last 2 films I've watched have Bunny in the title! Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! couldn't be more different from The Bunny Game if it tried! In a nutshell, we have a psychotic guy who goes to visit his buxom girlfriend and her disabled son, who just so happens to be obsessed with Easter and the Easter Bunny. Sounds wacky, sounds like it could be fun ... sadly not! From here we endure lengthy spells of nothingness which will leave you hoping the titular Easter Bunny turns up quickly!

The effects are decent enough for a low budget film (love the fact that everything in the house is covered in plastic sheeting to protect it from blood splatter!) but the film drags way too much and the good stuff isn't worth sitting through what comes before. Some may be pleased with the slightly unexpected ending, but most will probably see it coming. Probably one for the 'if there is literally nothing else on' shelf.