Saturday, 4 May 2013

Night of the Tentacles

David, a young, single graphic artist who lives in a flat surrounded by neighbours who fuck all hours of the day and night or spend all their time sat on the toilet as part of a liquid diet, gets a little over excited whilst listening to his heavily pregnant downstairs neighbour (Esther - the love interest) masturbate in her room and has a heart attack (well, when I say Alternative Film, I MEAN ...). Arriving home after a lengthy hospital stay, David meets with the Devil who offers him a new heart in exchange for his soul. The small print to this deal being that David must feed the heart (which is a one-eyed monster with razor sharp tentacles that lives in a box in David's closet) with fresh human meals. Thus begins Night of the Tentacles!

Described as a 'Faustian tale', this film smacks of poorly made 'Little Shop of Horrors' re-make (The heart even screams 'Feed Me!' Audrey II style) but without much of the humour or real horror of LSoH. Okay, I fully understand this film has its limits having only cost the makers $1500 to make, and the makers obviously had their tongues planted firmly in cheek, but the constant ludicrous gurning from David, added to some pretty questionable acting and large parts of the film so dark that my laptop brightness button gave up the ghost, then decorated with the cherry on top, the appalingly cheap and pointless heart-creature, leaves much to be desired.

As always, I feel I should find something good in even the worst of films, and I guess in this case it would be that there were a couple of scenes or throw-away lines that made me chuckle, but that's hardly a life-saver for this amateur crap. I did also like the Esther character (played by Nicole Gerity), she had something sweet and pleasing about her character which made me warm to her in an otherwise chilly environment.

My suggestion for you horror lovers out there is to give this one a wide berth, unless you're big into masturbating pregnant goths or remote controlled one-eyed boglins. Move along, nothing to see here.

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