Trashy Trailers #5

Beneath the Valley of the Ultra Vixens

A true gem and one of Russ Meyer's best. Classic smut! Enjoy!

Airborne

A group of strangers take the last flight to JFK during a snow-storm and end up facing a shit-storm of trouble on the seemingly jinxed flight. Airborne features some of the UK's best known and most up and coming talents including Alan Ford (perennial Guy Richie favourite) and Gemma Atkinson (now, a lot of you may criticise Gemma's acting skills, but personally I have a soft spot for her and reckon she's got good thing in front of her ... don't be crude!) and then, of course, there's Mark Hamill!

Without giving too much away, the film has (as we find out) two plots running side by side and for the most part it's not too badly done, but the inclusion of the second plot (the supernatural side), I feel, ruins anything that has gone before. There actually was no need to give it a supernatural twist as it takes a decent (and I'm not saying good, or great, I'm just saying decent) idea and then takes it into the realms of stupidity. It's unfortunate as I was fully supporting the film until around the hour mark.

The thing is, Airborne is not a terrible movie, it's not even a bad movie, it's just not a good movie. So many times writing this blog I've stumbled upon a film that show so much potential (despite low budgets, poor scripts / actors, whatever it may be) and then they let themselves down before they reach the final hurdle and this film sits nicely in this category.

Probably best left for the die-hards amongst us and those wanting to be just a little more terrified of flying than they already are!!

Trashy Trailers #4

CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH

My all time favourite TROMA movie, and your Trashy Trailer of the day. Enjoy!

Night of the Tentacles

David, a young, single graphic artist who lives in a flat surrounded by neighbours who fuck all hours of the day and night or spend all their time sat on the toilet as part of a liquid diet, gets a little over excited whilst listening to his heavily pregnant downstairs neighbour (Esther - the love interest) masturbate in her room and has a heart attack (well, when I say Alternative Film, I MEAN ...). Arriving home after a lengthy hospital stay, David meets with the Devil who offers him a new heart in exchange for his soul. The small print to this deal being that David must feed the heart (which is a one-eyed monster with razor sharp tentacles that lives in a box in David's closet) with fresh human meals. Thus begins Night of the Tentacles!

Described as a 'Faustian tale', this film smacks of poorly made 'Little Shop of Horrors' re-make (The heart even screams 'Feed Me!' Audrey II style) but without much of the humour or real horror of LSoH. Okay, I fully understand this film has its limits having only cost the makers $1500 to make, and the makers obviously had their tongues planted firmly in cheek, but the constant ludicrous gurning from David, added to some pretty questionable acting and large parts of the film so dark that my laptop brightness button gave up the ghost, then decorated with the cherry on top, the appalingly cheap and pointless heart-creature, leaves much to be desired.

As always, I feel I should find something good in even the worst of films, and I guess in this case it would be that there were a couple of scenes or throw-away lines that made me chuckle, but that's hardly a life-saver for this amateur crap. I did also like the Esther character (played by Nicole Gerity), she had something sweet and pleasing about her character which made me warm to her in an otherwise chilly environment.

My suggestion for you horror lovers out there is to give this one a wide berth, unless you're big into masturbating pregnant goths or remote controlled one-eyed boglins. Move along, nothing to see here.

Trashy Trailers Part #3

SENSITIVE NEW AGE KILLER

Straight from down under, some Ozploitation to liven up your Wednesday trash viewing.