F

This slick little psychological UK thriller revolves around a bullied school teacher, who has to face his demons after his school is taken over by faceless hooded thugs who set about systematically tormenting and killing off staff and students alike.

Made on a shoe-string budget (around £150,000), and with next to no gore or on-screen killing, F really was going to go one of two ways but thankfully it succeeds in dishing out decent chills and genuinely creepy atmosphere, making this a much more cerebral horror, compared to your run-of-the-mill blood and guts fest.

The hooded assailants work brilliantly, as we are never quite sure who they are, why they are there, or even whether they are human or something other-worldly. As the viewer, you are never really presented with any character you can sympathise with or root for, they are all pretty dis-likeable, and this might not sit well with some. Personally, I didn't mind as the lack of character connection means you can sit back and enjoy when someone is picked off by the thugs.

What really seems to be rubbing people up the wrong way is the film's ending. Without giving too much away, those who like a film to be wrapped up neatly in a bow, with no loose ends will be seriously annoyed. Personally, I found the ending quite refreshing - it doesn't allow us as the audience to sit back and relax, it send us away with a knot in the stomach, knowing that, just sometimes, things don't always finish with a Hollywood ending.

The Video Dead

So I was sat wanting to watch something cheesy, a little 80's straight-to-video schlock film and The Video Dead fit the bill to a tee! This crazy little film, which encapsulates everything about 80's film-making, focuses upon a possessed television which unleashes the hoards of hell (well, 4 male zombies and a female wig-wearing zomb) who set out to kill the Blair children (am I the only one who hates this 'homage to great horror actors/directors by naming their characters 'Blair' or 'Romero' etc) who move into the house they were unleashed into from the haunted TV set.

After the death of a dog, and a couple of neighbours in the street, the characters soon agree that this could only be the work of released television zombies (the only sane answer obviously) and set out hunting them down in the woods. The best part of this film is the explanation of how you kill these brain-munchers: there are two possible alternatives. 1. Lock them in a room they can't excape from so they eat themselves to death. 2. Shoot them or stab them as they believe they are human and so will think they are dying, even though they can't actually be killed (??!?).

Despite the expected bad acting and the script which has more hole than a slice of Swiss cheese, this is actually an entertaining production which, despite the obvious low budget and straight-to-video reputation, is fun, silly, spoofy and is big hair and shoulder pads 80's brilliance. Probably the sort of film which benefits from a few chilly beers prior to watching, but definitely the epitome of shlock video. Give it a go, enjoy.

The Bunnyman Massacre

Feeling that it has been far too long since I reviewed a rabbit related film, The Bunnyman Massacre (aka Bunnyman) seemed to perfectly fit the bill. A group of 'they look slightly older than they are meant to be' teens head into the wilds of America, only to be chased and run off the road by a guy in a full sized rabbit costume - The titular Bunnyman. They must then run for their lives as the giant rabbit chases them down.

At first glance, this film looks, on the surface, like it could be a fun watch, perhaps silly but ultimately entertaining. Sadly, the picture I painted just then does not ring true. This poorly acted, scripted and directed mess of a film, races from one nonsensical moment to the next with little explanation and little to allow the viewer to make sense of. The continuity is horrendous (I hope whoever did it was never hired again quite frankly) - a semi-naked, bleeding woman runs through the forest with her hands cuffed together. Cut to a shot of her screaming and lifting her hands to the sides of her head in shock, then placing them back together and the cuffs re-appear ... and this is one of the less noticeable ones!!

It seems at times as if the script was chucked together as they filmed. It's drive you crazy stuff. 2 of the teens go into the woods, the Bunnyman jumps out at them, the guy runs away and the woman is pushed to the ground. The guy runs back to the waiting group who ask 'Is she dead?'. He merely says yes and they all run away, leaving one of their best friends on a whim that she *might* be dead!

If I've learned anything from doing this blog, it's that rabbits and films don't mix (save Watership Down and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, of course!!) - lets hope, for your sake, and mine, that I've learned my lesson and steer clear from now on!

Night of the Living 3D Dead - 3D Dead Diaries

Promoting this for my pal David Taylor, this is the third official production diary for the feature film "Night of the Living 3D Dead", a remake of the 1968 Romero classic, directed by Samuel Victor & starring Gemma Atkinson as Barbara. Get the word out for these guys! Thanks!

Children of the Corn (2009)

So, let me start this review by saying I truly LOVE the original 80's version of this Stephen King adaptation (most people say Shawshank is the best, I'd choose CotC any day!!), so when I spotted this on a movie channel the other night, I HAD to watch it!

Children of the Corn relies on the terror of the children, plus the strength of the 2 leading adults, to make the film work. From the first minute I was introduced to Burt and Vicky, I hated everything about them and things only got worse. Within 10 minutes, I was praying for the eponymous Children to do away with them both quickly to spare me the torment of having to listen to them bitch, moan and bicker. Sadly, this didn't happen and I was forced to watch the next 80-odd minutes of this poor remake. The Children had also lost almost everything about them that made them terrifying. The Isaac character is scary in the original as he is clearly a man-child, possessed by He Who Walks Behind the Rows. The Isaac in this version is simply an annoying brat who looks like he could easily be swatted aside by anyone who could actually be bothered to stand up to him.

Obviously, as this film is called Children of the Corn - you expect some of the scenes to be set *in the corn*, however, after what felt like an eternity of point-of-view shots of characters running head-long through the corn rows, it became mind-numbingly dull and I just wanted it to end.

This SK adaptation is definately one for the King purists and for those who enjoy watching small children get their necks broken, otherwise, I say stick with the 80's version and see how it should be done.